This last year was about not dying.
It was about getting active, losing weight, and finding health.
It was about learning how to make better choices.
It was about taking responsibility for choices, and being accountable for my actions and inaction.
This last year was about stepping away from a sure death.
That’s a hell of a motivation, but there has to be more, right?
I don’t like the idea of this entire challenge being fuelled by fear.
This next year isn’t about not wanting to die. It’s all about wanting to live.
See, it’s not enough to stick around for longer. I want to do more.
I want to fill my life with things I enjoy.
With things I never thought I’d do.
The things that would panic me at 460 pounds now make me smile.
The last year has been filled with these things.
I started hiking.
I started swimming.
I started walking. Jogging. Running.
I ran my first 5km. I climbed a mountain.
I became a gym rat.
Last night I laced up a pair of skates for the first time in 15 years.
Much of the joy I get from these things isn’t just the fun of doing them, it’s the joy of knowing there is no way in hell I would have done them last year. You can’t imagine how exhilirating it is to do things I never thought I would do again! To lace up skates when a year ago I could barely tie my shoes.
The part that no one tells you is that the day you decide to change your life, you basically kill the guy you were. Then you get to build a brand new you from the ground up, one choice at a time.
So for me lacing up the skates was about more than an hour on the ice.
It was about being the kind of guy who wanted to do it.
It was seeing it as something fun to do and not as a cause for a full on anxiety attack.
Because a year ago….200 pounds ago….it never would have happened.
It was just one more thing I had accepted I had lost to my obesity. It was one more thing I convinced myself I didn’t really want to do anyway.
But it turns out that hauling myself along the boards of a rink while a 4 year old skates circles around me is just what I want. I want to fall on my ass trying (which I did…lol) because there’s no better feeling than getting back up.
This time last year at 460 pounds, sitting on my couch in my basement I was a big man in a small world. Now, in a new city, with a new job, in a rink full of strangers and new friends I am just a regular guy in one big world. Year two is going to be filled with moments just like this.